I don’t know about you, but from the moment I heard we were having twins, my mind went into a state of hyper-alertness. The only way for me to restore a semblance of calm was to be as prepared as humanly possible.
Yes, preparation was my coping mechanism. And I think my husband was in the same boat, Youtubing baby-gear reviews and prenatal classes.
I have a close friend who’d had twins, so she naturally became my consultant. She’s also hyper-organized and a little OCD, which was PERFECT given my state of organization overdrive.
After speaking to her and doing some of our own research, these were the situations we readied ourselves for, and my recommendations for how you can do so too:
1. Twins generally being born preemie (size, latching ability, etc.)
It is rare to carry twins to full-term (which, for a twin pregnancy, is 37 weeks). Most twins are born between 35 and 37 weeks, with many coming out even earlier because of complications. The result:
most twin babies are born smaller than their singleton counterparts.
What you’ll need:
- Preemie sized clothes –
- These are smaller than the newborn sizes typically found online and in stores. They are most readily available online on Amazon from brands like Carter’s, Hudson Baby, and Glitopper.
- Tinybabies.com.sg (started by a mom who had a hard time finding preemie clothes for her child) also carries preemie baby clothes, mostly imported from the UK.
- Preemie clothes are very useful in the first few weeks, but you should also expect your bubs to outgrow them quickly (within ~ 3 weeks or so).
- Preemie sized diapers –
- Just like the clothes, these are handy just in the first few weeks for the little bum-bums.
- Huggies carries a preemie line called Little Snugglers that is also available on Amazon (note: it takes about a week to deliver if you’re in Singapore).
- More support with breast-feeding and bottle-feeding –
- I’ve generally been told that I am a patient human being, but I will say that
feeding preemie infants requires A LOT of patience. - Because they are not yet fully developed, a preemie baby is less likely to have a strong latch (for breastfeeding) or a strong suck (for bottle feeding).
- I’ve generally been told that I am a patient human being, but I will say that
FOR BOTTLE-FEEDING PREEMIES
With bottle feeding, this means you really need bottles that have a soft nipple which mimics the feel of mom’s skin. After initially trying the Comotomo bottles because of the promise that they help avoid nipple confusion, we had to admit defeat and switch to our hospital’s recommendation, which was NUK. My babies found it much easier to suck from the very soft NUK nipples.
Also, the process of changing, feeding and burping each preemie baby would take up to an hour. So, for your own sanity, it is best to have multiple hands on-deck and have both babies fed at the same time. If that is not possible, then aim to feed concurrently (feed baby A, pass Baby A to someone else to burp, feed baby B, burp Baby B).
Following this plan will sometimes mean waking a baby that is still asleep to keep feeds on a manageable schedule. I know, we shudder at the thought of waking a sleeping baby! But this is preferable to spending two hours feeding twins back-to-back, followed by just a one-hour break before it is time to feed baby #1 all over again (going by the typical 3-hourly feed pattern).
Feeding our twins at the same time was crucial to our survival in those first few weeks, so I do recommend it.
BREAST-FEEDING PREEMIES
With breastfeeding, if your babies can’t latch well just yet, be prepared to pump breastmilk and feed them through bottles, plastic syringes, or even spoons. Bottles are the easiest option, of course, but I have heard of preemies who initially reject all bottles, and for whom alternatives must be found.
If your preemie is blessed with a strong suck, that’s half the battle won. Still, you may find that they are sleepier or get tired of feeding more easily than full-term infants. This just means you’ll need to be an annoying mama – more tickling of feet and nudging of chins to wake them up if they doze off mid-feed.
There is much more to say about preparing to breastfeed twins, so the rest will be covered in point 5.
2. The possibility of having twins in NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit)
We all hope for the best, but should your twins come extra-early and need time in the NICU, you’ll be glad you were ready.
What you’ll need:
- Being financially ready:
- Unless you’re delivering in the sort of public hospital that covers most of your medical bills1., every day spent in the NICU will cost. And this is the last thing you’ll want to be stressing about when your mind and heart are engrossed in the welfare of your child.
- It’s best to have an insurance policy that covers time in the NICU, and ideally a policy with no medical underwriting for newborns. This way, should they be born with any congenital conditions, those conditions will not be excluded from their insurance policy.
- This might mean latching them on to your (the mom’s) existing health policy, so if you don’t already have one in place, you should look into getting a policy that will cover your newborn’s needs (NICU included). Many plans offer NICU coverage for the first 30 days after birth.
- If getting insurance of this sort is not possible for you, then ideally have some money saved up. You may not end up needing it, but you’ll be glad you were prepared if you do.
- Having some gear:
While one or both of your twins are in the NICU, you will not be able to cuddle or spend as much time with them. If you were hoping to breastfeed, the possibility of direct feeding goes out the window (at least for the time that they are in there). That doesn’t mean you can’t give them pumped breastmilk, though. If you so choose, you will need to be ready to pump and send your milk to the hospital’s nurses daily.
- This means having:
- A great breast pump at home (many moms rent hospital-grade ones by Medela)
- storage bags or storage jars ready (Tip: The jars are easier to wash and reuse).
- a cool carrier bag to keep your milk fresh during transportation
With these items in place, my wonderful twin-mama friend was able to feed her preemie twins exclusively on breastmilk for their entire month-long stay in NICU!
Yes, she’s a champ. With some prep, you can be too.
3. Maternal Overwhelm.
There is so much new-age inspiration out there about the best, most natural, most eco-friendly ways to care for newborns. An inability to achieve these ideals can fill a new mama with pressure, guilt, feelings of low self-worth, and even anxiety.
NONE OF THIS IS WORTH IT.
What you’ll need:
To reduce your sense of overwhelm, you will need to give up on the ‘ideal’.
As someone who did initially get sucked into one of these ideals, i.e. breastfeeding exclusively, I am so grateful for having had a no-nonsense OBGYN who set me straight.
The day I walked into her office with a guidebook about breastfeeding, she told me to throw the book in the trash…
She also went on to tell me (multiple times during my prenatal visits) that the number one determiner of infant outcomes is not what milk they consume, but rather maternal mental health. This knowledge saved me when my milk-supply was low, and I became overwhelmed (both physically and emotionally) by the breastfeeding process.
I am not against breastfeeding. Or the use of cloth diapers. Or making sure babies have a daily 30-minute massage.
I am simply advocating making choices that work for you in your unique, individual circumstance, with a focus on what will enhance your mental health.
If, like me, your milk supply turns out to be low, and you have two underweight mouths to feed, please go and open that tin of formula.
If you don’t have as much help around, and are tired as a dog, even a 5-minute baby massage will do.
If you don’t have the time to clean cloth diapers for reuse, whip out the Huggies! And then pledge to plant some trees somewhere!
In short: cut some corners but keep your sanity. Your babies will thank you for it.
4. Two babies (twins) peeing and poo-ing at the same time
What you’ll need:
A well prepped diaper station! Or two!
If you have the space for it, doubling up your diaper station situation is worth it. It will allow for ease in those moments when both babies poo at the same time (and trust me, it will happen).
It will also just allow for easier access to diaper supplies depending on where in the house you happen to be at that exact moment. Your babies will smell better faster, and so will your home!
5. Breastfeeding twins
What you’ll need:
Like I mentioned, I was very keen on breastfeeding my newborns. For me, preparing to breastfeed twins meant doing some research, identifying one or two useful books, and getting my gear.
In one sense, breastfeeding twins is just like breastfeeding two babies in succession, so I knew I had to start with the classic: The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by La leche League International. This book (although sometimes leaning towards breastfeeding propaganda) was very good as an instruction manual for what to do with your baby – how to hold baby, establish a good latch, etc. It also provided good guidance about pumping.
In addition to this, I found a book that was more specific to multiples called Breastfeeding Twins and Triplets (by Kathrynn Stagg) which provided more guidance around tandem feeding (feeding both babies at the same time, one at each boob). The concept, though initially shocking, was useful to understand ahead of the twins’ arrival. It became one more tool in my arsenal during that breastfeeding journey.
On the advice of friends, I also watched some videos about how to use the Medela Symphony breast pump and get some flanges that would fit right.
Finally, as recommended by the books, I purchased some gear: breastfeeding pillows (I tried the twin-z pillow), lanolin cream, Silverettes, and even the Haaka vacuum.
Considering my breastfeeding journey turned out to be short-lived, I do think I was a little over-prepared. I could have probably delayed the Silverettes and Haaka vacuum pump, for example. But the rest of my prep was put to good use, albeit for a limited time.
6. Preparing bottles of formula on repeat.
What you’ll need:
More bottles, more nipples, a good bottle steriliser, and (maybe) that one game-changing appliance … a formula dispenser!
For those moms who are combining breastmilk and formula, or who are not doing breastmilk at all, having a formula dispenser is a LIFESAVER.
What is a formula dispenser, you ask? Think Nespresso, but for formula.
That’s right. No more stove-top heating of water to just the right temperature while baby is screaming in hunger. No more slow-pours in the wee hours of the morning.
Just place your sterilised bottle into the machine, press a button, et voila! Your perfectly measured bottle of formula ready in about 30 seconds.
There are several brands for formula dispensers these days, but the one we used and loved was the Baby Brezza Formula Pro. It was compatible with a massive range of formula brands and required only minimal maintenance. I can’t express the sense of satisfaction it gave us during those 3 am feeds…
I will link a current model here:
https://babybrezza.in/products/formula-pro-advanced-1
7. Needing more hands on-deck
Two babies, double the spit-ups, double the clean-ups. Can we hire two more parents, please?
What you’ll need:
Many families that can afford it go down the confinement-nanny route, hiring specialised full-time help for the first few weeks or months of their twins’ lives. This is what we did, and it was an absolute blessing. We lucked out with a good confinement nanny who had worked with twins before and knew how to manage preemies. She helped get my twins from preemie birthweight to newborn birthweight in the 6 weeks she was with us. She also trained us in how to feed, burp, and generally care for our wonderful babies.
If you live in Singapore and you are keen on a confinement nanny, this sassymama article will be useful to you.
If a confinement nanny is not an option for you, you’ll want to ramp up your support arsenal with additional domestic help or family members and friends coming in to help. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it, even less so when you have two bubbas to attend to. Sometimes you’ll just need to go and take a nap, and having someone else around to monitor your babies will enable you to do so more peacefully.
The newborn phase is one where many families prefer to be left alone, a private and sacred time. And people around you may assume that that’s what you prefer, unless you tell them otherwise. So, if you would like help, it’s important to express that.
Some may offer you their help, but you’ve also got to be able to receive it. You’ll only be able to do so graciously if you can drop the idea that you have to do everything on your own. There’s a reason they say, ‘it takes a village to raise a child’. How many villages do you think it takes to raise two?
If you found this post helpful, or would like recommendations on other twins-related topics, drop me a comment below!
